Dear JLRCM,
What is the ideal age to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Thank you.
In Love
Dear In Love,
The best age to have a boy-girl relationship is when you are mature enough to honestly answer the question: “Why should I enter a boy-girl relationship?”
If you are going to get involved just because that is the current fad, or because most of your friends are already into it, you are definitely not ready for that kind of relationship! Some people enter a relationship for sexual gratification or experimentation. Again, this is not a good reason for entering into a relationship.
If you do not have a plan to marry the person you are trying to court, do not enter into a relationship with her.
If you are looking for someone to marry, then high school and early college ages are out of the question. For us, the most ideal age to get involved is when you are about to graduate from college. This is ideal for the following reasons:
1. At this age you are expected to have reached a maturity level that is needed for emotional stability. In other words, at this age you are expected to know what you are doing.
2. In view of the sexual permissiveness of our world today, we do not favor long-term relationships since the temptation to fornicate is very high. For couples who live in the same locale, one to two years of “going steady” plus another six months to a year of formal engagement is ideal. We believe that is enough time to get to know each other.
3. You are about to graduate and therefore, be legible for work. A man has no right to get married until he has a job. People get married because they feel they are already capable of being on their own.
Hope we helped.
JLRCM
Dear JLRCM,
I and my girlfriend have been living together for three years now. Both our parents know about this, but I think it’s okay with them since they said nothing concerning the matter. However, I have read one of your Bible Study materials dealing with Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage, Etc. and I felt somehow that I am on the wrong track here. Is it wrong for me and my girlfriend to live together without getting married firts? So many people are doing it today, you know. What does the Bible say? What must I do?
Please help.
Thank you.
Secret
Dear Secret,
There are several kinds of sexual relationships prohibited in the Bible.
1. Adultery – sexual relationship with a person other than your spouse.
2. Fornication – sexual relationship between people who are not married.
3. Homosexuality – sexual relationship between people of the same gender.
4. Incest – sexual relationship with someone who is too close in the bloodline.
As you can see, live-in falls under number 2 above. Live-in is like driving a car without a license. You may be a good driver, you may even obey all the trafic rules on the road and you may take good care of the car, but unless you have a license you are still liable. This is also true with sexual relationships.
The Bible clearly teaches that SEX is only for married people. No matter, then, how many people are living together it is still wrong. Marriage is not “only a piece of paper” as some people would like to think. It is a binding contract signed with blood, legal on earth and honored in heaven. A legal wife can go to court if her husband breaches their marital contract by commiting, say, adultery for example.
Some couples reason out, “We love each other and we can’t wait for a wedding…” If you really love each other, get married! Give the best to each other and your children later on.
Others would say, “Weddings are old-fashioned…” Actually, what they mean by this is that “weddings are inconvenient.” If you will not get married, there will be more unecessary inconveniences later on. Or sometimes what they mean by this is “Weddings are expensive.” You know, it doesn’t have to be. A simple ceremony is as sacred as a grand one.
Marriage is always the BEST decision. It’s never too late to do the right thing.
You can see our pastor for free counseling.
God bless you.
JLRCM
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